Changes

So it has been a really long time since I have written anything here...my last post puts me to shame since it was written back in 2013...here we are in 2017...

A lot has changed...I'm not entirely the same person I was in 2013...

I've been procrastinating when it comes to writing this. So here it goes...for the most part, I have always tried to be positive when posting anything whether here or on Facebook, or even on my multitude of writing networks. I've always tried to keep this facade that nothing can bring me down. My personal life, and my life as Andene was separated so well...that until a few years ago...nothing could really touch Andene and my love of writing. Andene was always happy, cheerful, sometimes upset, but could always write her heart out...meanwhile it didn't matter what turmoil my personal life went through...writing was my outlet. 

Up until recently, I had everything under control. I could do both and everything else. I could be Andene The Writer, and then be me. 

Unfortunately, part way through writing Not Giving Up and Facilitating Love, things started slipping. They had been changing for a while, and I had been stubbornly trying to push through it...but then it caught up with me. 

I'll start from the beginning...in 2011 I had left school - while this didn't really stop me writing it had a detrimental effect on me, and like my own characters...for example Mia and Fallon...I tried to run and hide from my feelings. Writing allowed me that. I couldn't deal with my own failure and inability to complete my degree in Chemistry. I felt like I let my parents down, my siblings...and I felt that I let my readers and supporters down too. All this time I had been working on getting this degree to help run my Dad's lab (Fallon's back story is real...surprise...) but it wasn't working, something just wasn't clicking. I couldn't continue to fail, and I had to leave to recollect and to rebuild myself. It was the hardest decision I have ever made...but it was the right one. I withdrew from my studies in Chemistry in April 2011. 

That summer was particularly difficult. Denial is not your friend...let me tell you. But I still had my writing...and that is what I did...I continued to write If Only Tonight, and it helped keep me from delving into my feelings. But what do you do when you finish a project? You start a new one...and so as long as I had something to write, I didn't feel too bad about what I felt I had lost. Granted...there were days when it would hit me hard...like in September when everyone was heading back to school and I wasn't. But writing kept me placated. 

2012 I kept on working...I started writing Memory of You a few months after I had finished posting IOT...so much for the break I had said I would take, and then I started posting it once I finished. It was during that summer that I started noticing changes...I wound up with an auto-immune disease - and no...please don't feel sorry for me...I was lucky enough to get treatment and have it more or less resolved - But even so, while I noticed changes it July...I wasn't diagnosed until October 2013...and in the meantime, I still wrote and helped out at the lab. At this point I was finishing MOY and starting to work on two spur of the moment ideas...Not Giving Up, and later I started Facilitating Love.

My family life at this point was in turmoil...I was in denial about a few things...my education, my illness, and writing was helping me get through a big portion of it...but once I was diagnosed and started my treatment in 2013...my two lives which I had kept perfectly separate...started to merge into one. Andene The Writer...was now Andene The Writer who was ill and exhausted. The treatment - which was simple - left me tired out. I would sleep most of the day, and the little time I had, I would stay up at night and try to motivate myself to write or just surf the internet. 

During this time I started to really get to know the people I had met on FictionPress. Vidya, Manar, Jess, Nat...you guys have no idea how much it meant to me to be able to have those conversations with you. It was also during this time I started meeting new people on other forums. 

With my family life and my health kind of upside down...I was pretty much clutching at anything that allowed me to feel normal. A part of me really didn't want to face the reality that I too could be going to writer's block, or that I needed to deal with my feelings over not completing my Chemistry degree...which yes...had turned into a sort of depression. Yes...depression. I was embarrassed, to say the least...but over time I have learned it is not something to be ashamed about. I still have days when I feel like the I can't touch the light, or I can't feel the warmth of the sun light...but I have learned to lean on my family and friends for support and to admit when I do feel this way. It's doesn't help anyone if I hide it...and it just makes things worse for me. 

Anyway...as my luck would have it...the end of 2013 saw me make friends with someone who would eventually help me tackle my unresolved Chemistry denial/depression. 

2014 started with me reflecting, not just about my ten years on FP, but also on what I wanted from my life. The friends I had made had me thinking about whether or not I was a good fit for Chemistry, and if not...where did my true interests lie. 

It was hard to admit that Chemistry and I were just not a good fit. I know it sounds like a relationship...but at that point, it was like how I would assume a breakup/divorce feels like. I had spent my whole life dreaming about being a chemist and running a lab...that this was devastating. All this time I had spent pushing myself, trying to somehow move a mountain and it wasn't budging. I needed to let go. I had known going in that my math was weak at best, but still I had pushed on to try and make my parents proud. Organic Chemistry had annihilated me. Until now, I had never really understood how much of my self confidence those five years had shattered. I was left feeling like I was worthless and I wasn't any good. 

So with the help of a friend...I started looking into programs that interested me. Graphic Design, English...eventually I found Television...which encompassed writing, editing, filming, and studio work. And that's the one I applied to for two different colleges. 

I'll be honest...I felt like I betrayed my parents and Chemistry when I applied to TV. It was weird...I knew my parents were supportive, they had been hoping I would go back to school...but I felt guilty...because here I was...being selfish. Doing something that would be completely mine. I wouldn't be able to help out at the lab anymore...and that bothered me a great deal. 

I learned a lesson here though...You have to move forward and take the next step. You can't just give up, even when you feel like things are not going to get better...you just have to do it, take the next step and get up. 

I am really lucky that my family and close friends were supportive of my choice. And I was even more lucky that on my first try...I got into the program of my choice at the college that I liked. At this point, I stopped my treatment...since I didn't want to start school on a sleepy note. For the most part I have recovered completely...now it only occurs when I get stressed out. 

The next two years went by pretty quickly...more quickly that I could have imagined, or liked...lol...I really truly enjoyed my time in college. While I didn't get much time to write...it helped me rebuild my self-confidence, it allowed me to learn new skills, improve on old ones, and start to recover my love of writing. I learned that this was definitely the field for me. I thrived in it, loved/hated the pressure, and made lovely friends. I loved the camaraderie that came with being a TV student, I loved the fast pace and constant growth. It was everything I wanted and more. 

I learned a lot about myself. I learned my strengths and weaknesses. I learned that I had finally found something I could call home. Chemistry had sometimes made me feel like an outsider, but here...I was a part of something and it was the right fit. It also taught me how to deal with my emotions, depression, and building a strong support network. 

Well, everything comes to an end...and 2016 saw me graduate. I was happy, but also a bit sad...I didn't really know where I was going to be going next...job searching was a pain...and a kind of torture that you don't fully realize until you're out of school. 

While I did eventually find a job, there was still a part of me that I guess wasn't fully resolved. 

November 2016 saw me take part in NaNoWriMo...and while I didn't finish, I did make some headway into All About Tonight - An If Only Tonight Novella. I had also submitted my first script to a competition a month earlier. So...I thought I was on the right track...writing-wise...I know I haven't fully recovered on that front yet. But I am working on it. 

This year, 2017, brought up those earlier mentioned unresolved feelings...university...for my own personal benefit...I still wanted a degree...and so...I decided to apply to some film programs and try my luck...and in July...I got into the program I was hoping for. 

Now this brings back a lot of conflicted feelings. My last experience in university...wasn't exactly the best...and the perfectionist in me...can't seem to settle with trying my best...I need to be the best. I'm scared that this might go awry...but I'm trying not to think about it. I'm really hoping to do well...as well as I did in college if not better (although that experience, I feel, can not be matched...)

The reason I decided to write this...was more or less to explain why I haven't been around much and to let you know that I am starting to feel like my old writing self...I feel like I am starting to recover that part of me that I have been missing for so long. I think that this program is going to be a good change for me, and that I hope by focusing on writing, it will revitalize the part of me that has been struggling to write. 

I'm going to try and spend the next few weeks before I start my degree program...writing...it may be a page, or a few lines...it may be more. But I feel ready to get back to my characters and the worlds that I miss so much. 

A part of why I stopped posting on Facebook and Twitter was because I felt embarrassed...and like I let you all down...like I was frittering away my time not writing...and while not all of those feelings have been resolved...I'm going to try and stop hiding. I'll post about things I like or things I don't like...and when I have something for you to read, I'll post that too. 

I hope that this long winded post will give you some perspective of where I've been and what I've been up to...and if you're going through something similar, just know that it does get better. Sometimes you have to ask for help in order to receive it. It's hard and scary...but at the end it is definitely worth it. 

To my family and my dear writing friends, and non-writing friends, thank you for letting me lean on you...even if it was a little bit...you helped me get this far. To my readers and supporters...thank you my lovelies for sticking around. 

Anyway, here is to a new school year...and more writing!

As always, lots of love!
Andene xxxxx

A bit of randomness & A lot of IOT

Hello!

Well, again it's been a while...lol! Things have been pretty busy, and like usual I'm always kinda lazy when it comes to blogs and posting stuff here.

Meanwhile, on FP I have been regularly posting 'Memory of You'...yea, Sunday posts bring back good memories...as well as a whole lotta nerves. I typically get nervous when it comes to posting stuff...so thanks for the support and taking the time to review! I do love reading them, and it just makes my day!

So, the main reason of my post today is...well...IOT. For over a year, I have been trying to put the itch I have to delve back into that world on the back burner. Earlier this year, I started to work on a short side story about Nathaniel. Having written about 1.5 chapters and several outlines. I put it aside to focus on finishing MOY, since two projects at once does not bode well for me...ever. 

Anyway, with that on hold for now...I have been contemplating writing a few short stories - more like one or two oneshots - that take place in the IOT world. After reading some oneshots by my favorite mangaka's...now that those specific mangas are over...the idea started to form. I know you guys have been interested in finding out more about Matthew and Mia's child, and I already have the perfect little story for that. I think that'll keep you all happy until I decide on what to do with the Nathaniel short story. 

Again, I don't really like sequels, which is why I have been reluctant to even return to that world...but with your interests along with my own large one...it's been hard to not think about the prospect. Like some of you have told me, I share the same belief...unless I do it right, I shouldn't attempt it at all. Which is why Nathaniel's story is on pause for the moment.

So yea...That is happening...there'll be more details about posting and stuff once they've been written and I'm completely happy with them. But for now, I think this will help me face the block I have when it comes to dealing with Nathaniel...and even if it doesn't...I think these short stories will be fun, and I do hope you'll enjoy them.

On that note, I think it's safe to say...I am working on a new story...I started a few weeks after finishing MOY. Yea, I couldn't deal with the IOT short story pressure and all of a sudden another idea formed, and I took it and ran with it. What's it about? Well, nothing magical and not soccer related...well not really. This time, I decided to write about forbidden relationships, since I found those entertaining (Faster Than A Kiss - =D )...so yea, I am attempting a student-teacher one, just for fun. I really don't know yet if it'll be posted, but for now...it is keeping me busy, and I'm enjoying that!

Well, anyway, that's all the stuff that I have been wanting to share...I hope you guys enjoy the rest of 'Memory of You'!

Much love,
Andene xx

Memory of You

Hello all!

Well, as most of you know, I have started posting a new novel called 'Memory of You'. It is the little project I was teasing about in the last post, and so far I've posted the prologue, a brief diary entry, and the first chapter. Not a lot, but enough to get you all started! =D

I've been working on 'Memory of You' since last year. It's been a relaxing project for me so far, and since it is new, I thought maybe I would give you some information on it. 

'Memory of You'...where to begin...well...first off the ideas that it's based on are from high school. When I used to be sitting and eating dinner at 12 am, because I had been working on a last minute assignment, (not the best example...-_-') I used to imagine this Queen who thought she loved someone, who ended up being a horrible person, and a childhood friend who not only worked as a chef for her, but would help her put an end to some of her destructive habits, whom she would fall in love with. That was the concept back then...(circa 2005-2006). Presently, the story has evolved to include the unfortunate event of said love interest losing their memories. 

The change is likely because of all the mangas I've been reading. (They're on the side -->) I read Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles, and after turning into a faucet for the first two volumes, I always wanted to know if Sakura would be strong enough to deal with things if it was Syaoran lost his memories instead of her, and there was no chance of him getting them back. (In my opinion ..I don't think she would be...) Also in MeruPuri, Aram loses his memories of Airi; and she ends up fighting to get him to remember her (Which is what I love about Airi!). Basically, the concept isn't new, but it only serves as inspiration and don't worry there are many twists and turns.  =)

As I've mentioned before, I really wanted to have fun writing this, and include everything I love, manga, not manga, novels...you name it. It really does have everything - this is based on my own biased view of what's been written so far. I've done my best to include mystery, intrigue, drama, comedy, romance, and heartbreak.

The biggest difference, I think, between 'Memory of You' and 'If Only Tonight'...is not just that this is fantasy, and less reality, but the types of relationships. Whereas in IOT I had to craft all the relationships carefully, and progress Matthew and Mia from enemies (sort of), to friends, and then place them in a romantic relationship; I get a bit of a shortcut in MOY. I think the shortcut is only possible because Nicholas and Alexandra are already friends, as you can tell by the first chapter. This isn't a friend's brother type relationship, where you would still have to build them up before going to the next level...these two already are friends. (Which is a relief in one sense, because I can promise there won't be 80 something chapters...but also...I still firmly believe IOT is too good to be repeated.)

So anyway, I'm not stressing much over writing or posting right now. I just write when I can, and I'm trying to teach myself not to feel guilty when I haven't done anything or written as much as I think I should have. It's different writing without any pressure or expectations, that's for sure. Posts will probably be more regular once I'm done writing. I'm not even close to the end yet...so expect maybe a few more chapters for now...I still haven't decided, but I think I'm okay with posting the first five.

I really hope you'll all give 'Memory of You' a chance. I think that's the only pressure for me right now. I'm more worried about how you'll take than about writing it...lol! I promise that the next few chapters will introduce some comedic aspect of the novel, and I hope you'll enjoy reading about Alexandra, Nicholas, Mark, Valek, and Sophia. It's been quite interesting writing from their points of view, so I hope I can keep you all entertained!

Thanks so much for taking the time to read my stuff and support me, I can't tell you enough how much it means to me!

Much Love,
Andene

TEN

Hello all!


Can you believe it? It's been almost a year since I last posted a story, or chapter for IOT??? Weird...

As some, or very few of you may know...this year marks ten years of me actually writing and posting on FictionPress...I know it's not the biggest deal, but for me...I feel as though I should do something special to commemorate it. After all it's not everyday you get to 10 years of doing something...anything...and to be honest, I never thought I would continue this as my hobby.

Ten years, I have spent on FictionPress...writing some pretty crappy poems, as well as some okay poems, but eventually, I settled on the thing I really really wanted to do - which is writing. Since I was little, I've wanted to be an author, just so I could write cool stories and be able to immerse myself in them. I can't believe I've actually done it!

Thanks to all of your support, I got up the courage to write and continue to write three stories...IOT being one of my most favorite and most massive of them all...over the duration of my 'break' I've learned to appreciate the stuff I wrote before IOT, although I still find it a little bit cringeworthy to read, I have accepted that to get IOT right, I needed to improve along the way. Also as much as I thought I was done writing...I'm not.

If you read my parting note last year, I wanted to end on a high note. I wanted to leave things so that IOT was the masterpiece, the swan song. And for a while it has been. I love it to death, and I would be happy never to write again...or so I thought. If only I could keep my mind quiet...

Admittedly, my resolve for not writing lasted a few days...ideas started to swim in my head, and after fighting them for a few months, I wrote them down on paper, thinking once it was out of my system, I'd be fine. WRONG! I couldn't resist...and before I knew it, I was on my computer writing all over again. I've tried keeping it to myself...but it's quite hard to say 'Oh I'm writing for fun!' without the inevitable questions that come with it. I've admitted to writing for myself, which it is, and although I'm not willing to publish right now, I'm thinking about perhaps allowing a glance at what I've been up to.

Initially, the reason I was so hesitant, was because it is quite different to all the other novels I've written so far. It is quite honestly the farthest thing from soccer. Whereas ATWCB, SWFF, and IOT; have that one commonality, this one does not. This one idea has partially been around for a lot longer. I used to day dream a lot about a medieval/modern mix story, but over the course of the last few months I've changed it a little and developed it a lot more. It is more of a fantasy/magic/adventure influenced by what I've been reading. If you've been keeping track...yea...definitely manga influenced. There are several PoV's, which I've loved getting to write, and it's more of a post-nuclear war world...after it's been re-built and is up and running. I think it's different to what I've read so far...so hopefully, you guys will like it. It is a different side to my previous work, but at the same time it could be considered a complete page one...as I've not followed my usual process...and until recently, I had no idea what I was doing, or thought would be the conclusion. It's not complete, but I am working on it, so for the time being I'm just thinking about posting the prologue...that is all. I suppose more of it will be posted later on, but I will most probably wait until I've written more, and gotten closer to finishing it.

With this blog post turning into a short story of it's own, I think it's only fair that I tell you one or two more things. After pondering the idea of a short story and small project, and much nudging by fellow tweeters (Bunny, Vidya...) I did start a small short story about life after IOT. WARNING: IT'S NOT A SEQUEL... The main focus of it was Nathaniel, as both you and I apparently felt the same. It was a hard decision to keep him single in the final epilogue of the story, but I think it was the right thing to do. He was young and still seemed unready for a steady relationship. (Funnily enough...Gossip Girl did the same thing to Nate in the season 6 finale...lol! Perhaps they copied me???? LOL!) I managed to write a long chapter and a half before realizing that I can only work on one project at a time...two just gets distracting and my head becomes messy...I do intend to work more on it and post this project later - hopefully later this year, provided I finish my current novel first. It's release also depends on many things such as my own life, which is steadily becoming hectic...loads of pressure...-_-' So here's hoping it works out, since I think it's only fair that you all get to see him get a happy ending too. But, please keep in mind, it will be a short story, (Allow me to clarify...by short I mean less than 85 chapters...more like 30...), based only on Nathaniel's life. (And yes...I've definitely settled on using the red head we were discussing on twitter...I even found a name!) That's not to say our favorite couple won't be present - they will...I assure you - I'm just saying that it'll be from Nathaniel's PoV. (Which is something I really wanted to do!!!)

Finally...the one thing I think everyone is wondering...after reading this long blog post of what I've been up to...I will tell you the date when I'll post the aforementioned prologue...it's going to be a bit of a wait, but the tentative date is set for...Sunday, May 5th, 2013. Keeping in tradition with my Sunday posts...lol...I'm quite a bit nervous as to how you might take it...admittedly, it is a delay tactic...but I hope you will give it a chance, and enjoy it! 

As you all know, I do tend to give writing quite a bit of priority, staying up nights and that sort of thing - especially when posting, I try hard not to delay and disappoint on that end - so I hope you'll be patient with me as I explore and write this new novel, and balance it with my personal life. (Something which I need to learn...-_-')

Please remember to read and review, it makes my day to read your thoughts and comments on my work!!! Also I'm still hoping IOT will get to 1000, so please if you haven't reviewed, it would mean alot to me!

Anyway, hope you enjoy your weekend...and aren't too upset with me for not posting right away...I'm sorry!!! I just want it to be perfect before I do...

Much Love,
Andene 

How I Write - Emotions

Hello...

Yes...I've been away again...sorry about that...

Anyway, so I have been exploring a few ideas, and as I was thinking I remembered one of the most common questions I get asked...how do you write EMOTION?

So today, I decided to post a little bit about that. 

Emotion can be a really hard aspect of writing. If done right, it will make the reader happy and joyful, or it will make the cry along with the characters. At times, I get frustrated trying to get it right...(it's worse when I'm frustrated and my character is supposed to be frustrated...not funny at all...) You may have noticed that my scenes for breakups usually have a certain setting, rain, cold, snow...etc...it's just easier for me to write them that way. I like to have a setting for the reader to imagine and then put in what the characters are feeling. Settings also convey the tone, which can be really helpful for a reader. 

When writing feelings, it can be very tricky, more so if you haven't actually experienced it...my solution? Don't laugh...but really sad books, or shows, movies, music...do the trick. For me, all I need is to get in the mind frame...and music or TV helps. Try and relate to it, you may not have had a break up, but there are guaranteed to be things that you may find equally upsetting and draw on the emotion you feel thinking about that.

I think writing emotion is easier depending on how involved the author is with their characters. If you can think like them, and be in their head, and know what they will say or how they will feel...of course it will help. I like to imagine and visualize how it will play out, so when I sit down to write, I will re-read and tweak until it's giving me the same emotion I felt while playing the scenario in my head. 

For me, I think I was very involved with Mia and Matthew so at times writing their emotions were easy, but there were times when I found it hard. I think it was harder to write the scenes where they were together in comparison to the break up...since those emotions I'm not entirely familiar with. Sadness, I can relate to...in love...not so much. So to get those written down without me feeling like it was tooo cheesy or wanting to claw my eyes out, I turned off music and did the opposite of what I do for writing sad emotions. (I still think that was really hard...I hate having to write together scenes...love/hate banter is much more fun!) 

The hardest chapter in IOT was actually 62...when Matt and Mia are together and going out. I really wanted it to be good and not gag-worthy, so I isolated myself and wrote until I could read it without cringing. The breakup wasn't hard, since I had already planned it from the beginning and I was honestly looking...forward...to it...lol! (Only because it would get us to the prologue!) I think it came out the way I wanted it too, and it was exactly how I thought it would be in my mind. Imagination really does help! So does reading other books! =P

I'm not sure how helpful this is, considering that to me it feels like I ramble with no point. I do hope...that somewhere in this jibberish you find something useful. I'd probably be more helpful depending on how specific of an answer you are looking for. This is just a general idea...

Anyway, hope it helps!

Much Love,
Andene xx

How I Write - Getting Through Writer's Block & Other Distractions

Hiya! 

I know...I know...it's been a while...I've been really busy between work and school that I wasn't able to sit down and get to this.

Anyway, I've noticed that one of the major problems I hear from other people who like to write...is (dum dum dum dumm) Writer's Block...or as I call it...getting stuck. Sometimes you can be stuck for days, weeks, or even months at a time. In general, I don't think I've ever felt 'blocked' when writing. I'm really lucky. I do feel stuck sometimes, but more often than not, it passes and I get on with writing. 

I don't think there is a simple way to face getting stuck, other than to change perspective. Don't think of it as getting stuck...rather a nice short break? Sometimes you just might not be into what you're working on, so carrying on seems pointless. If that's the case, I think a re-evaluation over why you might be writing the piece is called for. Sort out if the path you've taken is the one you want, and if not, you can change it to something you like. Don't be scared of changing things or deleting what you've written. If anything just start a new file and start over, that way you can compare your work and see which one is better or mix and match. Another reason to get stuck is pressure. You may feel as though everyone is expecting a lot, and you don't want to disappointing  or you're being asked to update and you can't find the time to write. It can all contribute to that feeling of being 'blocked'. Always remember: YOU ARE WRITING FOR YOURSELF!

For me getting stuck usually happens when I am tired, or it's a situation in the story that I am not prepared to handle...sometimes it's having to write a certain scene or dialogue and I can't come up with anything, my mind goes blank. My solution is to leave that portion and start on the next chapter. When I do that, it always helps me. I'll come back, and work on the rest of the scene/chapter/dialogue until I'm content with how it sounds and reads. If I'm not ready for a situation, I'll get off the computer, and just mull over the fine details until I feel I have something that suits the situation. Again, I am a dreamer...so I love running the scenario in my mind's eye like a movie...and playing with different options. There are some moments where I have felt weird or incapable of writing have been...such as...don't laugh, I know how weird this is going to sound...scenes that might lead up to a kiss...-_-' I'm not joking. I get a little weirded out, and it takes time to write those moments. I find writing break-ups easier than writing about the kiss...lol! Maybe it's because I can relate to sadness more than the joy but...yea...in order to write those moments so they aren't cheesy, it usually takes time and I tend to have more than one chapter going on, so that I don't freak out.

Feelings of being 'blocked' or stuck, for me, come up when I don't have time to write, that is usually when a project starts to look daunting and un-finish-able...for example, IOT took a little over two years to write because at certain points I just didn't have time; at one point I was across the pond in England, at another it was school, or work, or family, and at others I didn't have energy. Thankfully, it was never the storyline that troubled me. At the beginning there were some things that were unclear, but by last summer, I was sure about every aspect. All I needed was time. I would recommend working on your story at night or on weekends, but only if you can manage with the lack of sleep. Since I'm a bit used to running on less sleep that is usually my method. For me, it is because there isn't anyone to bother me, or on weekends when I am free of work. I know if I'm too tired, I won't write anything decent...so I make sure that once spelling starts becoming an issue or I feel frazzled  I get off the computer and go sleep or do something else. 

Distractions can often attribute to the 'not-writing' aspect of my life. Like, over the summer I had quite a few distractions last year, my siblings were at home, we had loads of guests...which really did slow down me down. I tend to dislike prying eyes. It got to a point where I would turn on the computer and leave it until the night...when I'd turn it off...it was quite bad. I think a part of what happened was that it is far too hot in my room in the summer...plus I tend to use a really old monitor which generates A LOT of heat...lol...I did find a solution though...a fan right at the computer and working at night to avoid people reading over my shoulder. I know...you probably think I should have changed my monitor...but I'm quite attached to mine...so that was out of the question. I would do as much as I could in the summer and try not to waste the time I had given myself to write. I tend to write more during the spring, fall, winter; more because my siblings have school so they can't pry...and the weather is easier to deal with. I know for others the source of distraction could be internet and what-not...that is why I tend to unhook my computer from the internet...it keeps me focused. 

I know some people often feel blocked when there is a lot of pressure on them. A lot of the times you don't want people to be let down, or want to update quickly...it can be really hard. I think the best way to avoid pressure - again which worked for me, was to remind myself that what I was writing was for me. If I wasn't happy with it...then why would would I want to share it, and really why would someone reading my work be happy? 

In order to keep away from pressure, I generally write a large portion before deciding if I'm going to share it or before letting anyone read a chapter. After writing ATWCB on a day to day basis, I found this was the best way to work. With SWFF I was always 10 chapters ahead, but still I would feel a little bit of pressure when it came to posting, and quality. With IOT I took a similar but at the same time different approach. I posted the prologue a few days after I had written it - by then I was already writing the chapters, and then I kind of kept away from posting until I had written about 30 something chapters. I don't think I would have posted IOT if I didn't like the concept. I made sure to let everyone know that I was going to go offline for a while, it took the pressure of updating off of me and allowed me the space I needed to write. I would go through the chapters on my own, and read and re-read them until I was sure nothing was missing. This way, by the time I started posting more frequently, most of the story was done. I found that for me, this was the best way to write. 

Anyway, sometimes the best way to get over Writer's block is to just stop and do something else. Something that isn't writing! Or just sleep on it...since our minds figure out problems when we sleep...whatever works for you! =D

Well, I really hope this helps...I know it's rather long winded...but I didn't know what else to do. Also...if you have any tips that work when you have Writer's block, let me know. It would be interesting to see what other people do!

Much Love,
Andene xx

How I Write - Dialogue

Hello all!

Sorry for another long delay...I had midterms...-_-'

Generally when I write, the part that I often have trouble with...depending on chapter and where I am in the story line...is Dialogue. 

For starters, I've been told (many times when I started out...lol) that when characters speak it should always start on a new line. That's just the format.

Now for realistic dialogue, I would say...think like your character. You should have an idea of how they would speak and sound, so it will help eliminate things your character should not say. I tend to use things I would actually say. Sometimes a conversation in one of my stories can be one that I've had with a friend...=)

A lot of inspiration can be taken from movies and TV, but at the same time I would advise to keep it original and only use something if it genuinely works...don't fill your dialogue with lines from shows from A-Z...make the line your own. Recently someone on Booksie mentioned that when Dallas (from SWFF) said 'As you wish' to Natalia as they broke up, it reminded them of Wesley from The Princess Bride, because when Wesley would say that he meant to say I love you...and I said yes that was a moment inspired by that movie. There are always going to be scenes which stand out and strike a chord with you, believe me...some pictures and scenes just speak to me...so if you decide to recreate them using your characters, make it Original. 

At times, I have struggled with conversation. When that happens, I tend to leave it for a little while, and start writing the next chapter, before coming back to it. Conversation is admittedly hard to write depending on situation. Break-up scenes and scenes with affection are the hardest for me to write. When writing emotion, I try to convey it not just with the words that a character might say but also with the setting of the scene. In a way, the setting can bring out your dialogue. For example, in IOT when Mia and Matthew broke up, it was raining and overall a sombre atmosphere. When you write scenes with dialogue which is intensely emotional...I find listening to the same mood in music really helps. 

With dialogue writing it wrong, can make a character seem dense, idiotic...stupid...you get my drift. Always get a feeling for the scene and then write. Always check your dialogue to see if it flows. If you aren't satisfied with how something is reading off...it's not right. 

Near the end of IOT I was having trouble with some dialogue. So when I would go back to edit it, I would always find something to change. By the time I got ready to post it, I felt like there was nothing to change...and I knew it was just the way I wanted it. That's always a telling sign.

Remember that you are writing for yourself. If you're not happy, then it's not right. I always go through my dialogue to make sure characters are sounding the way I hear them in my mind, visualization always helps. 

Sorry about how short this post is...I haven't had much time...and I'm not sure how to describe writing dialogue? Maybe if you have some specific questions I can help? lol!

Anyway, hope this helps!

Much Love,
Andene 

How I Write - Getting Started

Hello again!


Sorry for not posting this sooner...I've been a bit busy. Work, school, personal life; it can be a bit hard to balance. lol!

Anyway this week's post is about getting started on your writing piece  Yes! Finally we have gotten to the good stuff!

So usually when you decide to write you'll sit down somewhere and you know...write...right? For me, I find that writing is something I like to do away from noise and distractions. For this purpose, I actually think Environment is quite important.

Personally, I work in my room on the computer. I would recommend not writing on paper. Having done it for NGOTG...I hated having to type up my chapters, and made me hate writing for a little while...and I would procrastinate. For ATWCB, SWFF, and IOT; I have written everything directly on the computer. Yes, I have at times lost a few sentences, a chapter at most when the computer unexpectedly shut down or I forgot to save...but in general I keep back ups on several USB's and one on the hard drive of my computer so I haven't found myself crying over losing something major. Generally my original file will be on a USB...which I will keep separate from any of the ones I use for downloads and other common files. Another note about the environment in which you chose to write in...it should be comfortable for you. My room is the only place I write...and yea...at times I have to kick out my siblings so that I won't be distracted or they won't sneak peaks at my stuff. (Usually my secrecy gets me into a little bit of trouble with my parents...especially...late at night...-_-') I do have some rules that I like to follow when writing...so although you might find them strict or weird...they work for me....they are:

-My computer is not hooked up to the internet when I write
-Always save whenever you finish a sentence/paragraph/page to be safe
-I don't like to read other books/stories when writing
-I like to write at night during weekdays...and during the day on weekends
-Silence around me is much needed...although I love listening to music sometimes
-I don't like people reading over my shoulder...so I like to write on my own

So now that I've said that, you can modify it however you choose. It all comes down to what feels comfortable and what your preferences are. 

Moving on to the Writing bit. 

I like to title my document before starting...(I can be a bit picky...I know...=S) and then put in the chapter title. 

I generally like to start of by describing the setting, or what action is going on. Because I am Canadian and I've spent most of my life in Ontario I try to keep the settings to places I know (lest I forget the Spain disaster of SWFF). Also I love my country, and there are a lot of amazing places here which I think others should see! I choose England, only because the country fascinates me...and because I have spent time there...lol! 

Anyway, in IOT I used Muskoka, it has always been a focal point for me when it comes to beauty...and I love waterfront properties, so I thought it would be interesting to start there for IOT. Another thing is that I knew in IOT I wanted a prologue and for it to be a cliff hanger. I had already thought it would be a great teaser and introduction to the story, so that's why I chose the moment which was very far off in the actual story line. I thought it would be cool to have Mia driving to the cottage with the song used for the title playing and then getting the message. I also wanted there to be a bit of mystery so if you read the prologue...Matthew is never mentioned by name. The only thing that gives him away would be the summary... -_-'... lol!

I love description, so for me I love to paint pictures with words about where a character is, and what they look like, what kind of car they might be driving, the music that is in the background...things like that make me interested in reading something.

Always re-read what you've written. If you are anything like me, you've written the chapter in the middle of the night, and the next morning you will find some interesting non-existent words that need to be fixed. Also, don't post without checking for mistakes. I always have a number of mistakes evade me, but I do try to catch spelling and grammar as much as I can...considering my computer runs a different OS and doesn't do it for me...lol!

When you start, it can be really frustrating...half the time its like sitting in front of a blank screen and staring in to the nothingness thinking...okay what do I write? Where do I start? That's why I suggest the whole outline ordeal, so that you have a basic idea. It's a useful tool...for me! =D

Another point I would like to make, is that when you are writing...write for yourself. If you enjoy what you've written, then chances are if you decide to post your work, others will like it too. I will say that if you've already decided that you will post your work, make sure you are far ahead of your readers. Personally, I've done the night of posting, being ten chapters ahead, and being like 30 chapters ahead. I would recommend being 30 chapters ahead...only because you are less likely to be influenced by reviews and comments. As long as you are happy with the story, I don't think anything else should matter.

Anyway, I really hope this helps you all!

Hopefully, I'll post again soon!

Much Love,
Andene xx

PS - I'm still hoping you guys will help get IOT to 1000 on FP, I hope you all feel that it should get there...we only have 341 reviews to go on FP, and if you haven't reviews some chapters, it would mean a lot to me if you did. Also if you think someone will like the story, please ask them to review too...=D I promise I'll always reply! Also...I hope you like the quotes I've been posting! ;)

How I Write - Point of View

Hello!

So today, I'm going to start on a suggestion by one of my awesome reviewers...EverEverAfter...

One of my favourite things about reading is experiencing the story from someone else's perspective. It is also one of the reasons I love to write, because when I get to write it...I get to - in a way - experience what my characters are going through. What am I talking about?

Point of View...that's right! I usually decide this before I start to write. Anyway, PoV is a huge deal whether its first person, or as I prefer, third person. You'll find that a consistent PoV can make or break a story. Settling on a PoV can be hard though. For me, I find it easier to express surroundings and emotions using third person. In high school, a lot of the novels I read would be written this way and personally it's quite comfortable for me. Also, I think I've been put off by first person because of Twilight -and I find that at times, it can sound a bit...childish? It's just not for me, I suppose. Sticking to a POV can also be a problem. Another problem can be from which character's PoV will you be writing the story? By this point, you should have an idea who the main characters are, and who are the supporting characters.

If you look up definitions for these PoV's here is what you'll basically find:

Third Person Point of View
Here the narrator does not participate in the action of the story as one of the characters, but lets us know exactly how the characters feel. We learn about the characters through this outside voice.

First Person Point of View
In the first person point of view, the narrator does participate in the action of the story. When reading stories in the first person, we need to realize that what the narrator is recounting might not be the objective truth. We should question the trustworthiness of the accounting. (http://www.learner.org/interactives/literature/read/pov2.html)


It can be further broken down to third person subjective or third person limited and so on. I write using third person limited.

As you can see, the difference in both PoVs is the information given to the reader. I find that in third person, you can pick up more on what's going on in a certain situation...while in first person the character may or may not leave something out. For me, the main reason I love third person so much is because I can show what emotions are felt by all my characters rather than just one.

For example, in ATWCB, I chose one character's PoV but wrote it as third person. I was just starting out, and I was very inexperienced so I needed it to be simple. I chose the lead character, Fallon, and did my best to stick through seeing things from her eyes and what was going on around her. Admittedly, it was hard sticking to just her for the entire story, especially when I really wanted to have Daniel's perspective. I had to be really careful that I didn't start writing from his side and I would read and re-read chapters before posting them in order to make sure. One thing that helped was because I am such an avid reader, I had a general idea of how authors stick to a PoV. Reading always comes in handy!

In SWFF, I kept with third person PoV, because I found it quite comfortable. I had written from first person (The One) but I didn't really find it appealing. In SWFF, I really wanted to do a boy and girl because I had never written from a male perspective and environment, so Natalia and Dallas were the obvious choices, since the story was mainly about their interaction with one another. I really like that with third person, you get to write about a different environment when you switch characters. The same event can be looked at in two separate ways.

In all honesty, IOT was the hardest to decide. Again, it was third person limited, but that wasn't the hard part...the hard part was picking which characters to write with because I wanted to write using all of them. I knew I wanted Matthew and Mia, but in the beginning there were certain scenes that I could visualize from Oliver, Nathaniel, Leon, and Lina's point of view. The problem was, if I went with six PoVs the story would be a bit choppy, and lets be honest, I would be giving myself and you all a whiplash switching through them. Because I only liked certain scenes with those PoVs it just wouldn't work. That is why I stuck with Matthew and Mia's, not only were they the main characters, but I could also convey the other characters better using them. Hence, leading back to my main point. POV should always be...CONSISTENT!

At first it can seem really daunting trying to stick with a PoV, believe me, I know. I usually try to get into my character's frame of mind but I also have to remember that I'm not writing just about them, but also about their environment. When it comes to switching over, I take a breath and basically 'switch heads' - I'm not crazy...I just love to write. If you're doing two characters...it is harder. I think what helps me is visualizing the scenes. I'm a day dreamer, which benefits me at times - meaning I totally forget to pay attention to studying. I like being able to play the scene in my head, just to see how it flows.

Anyway, I hope this helps you all. Next post will be the real thing...starting to write! Yes...actual writing!!!

Much Love, 
Andene xx

How I Write - Titles, Character Names, Traits, & Background

Hello all!

So, today I'm going to start finishing up some of the more detail oriented parts that I go through before actually writing.

Alright...Character Names...As you can tell from the outlines I've already posted on Facebook, character names are something I decide ahead of time, while the story is still in my head. It may not be the same for other people, so if you are ever stuck and you don't know what to name your character I would recommend looking up popular names over the years. Sometimes, you'll find one or two that really stand out. I've actually done it, but I usually stick to different or at times uncommon names. Another thing about names is that, if you don't like the name...you can always go change it. An example of this can be seen in my outline for Something Worth Fighting For. Natalia was actually called Clare/Clara, but after writing a few chapters...I hated that name, and dropped it to be used for one of her friends, and re-named the character as Natalia...which was my take on Natalie. With Mia, I really liked Mellenium and Melania...so I merged the two for Mellenia. I also wanted it to match with her twin brother's name Maximillion. Fallon was just a name that I loved.

Names for me, are easy...at times I have all the characters named, but not an actual title for my story. Which can be...entertaining...If you look through all three of my stories, you will find that certain names do cross over. For example, in All That We Could Be...Dallas was Christopher's older brother...later I used that name as the main character's name for SWFF. Another example...Matthew was Natalia's cousin...the name was used for the lead character in If Only Tonight. (There are a couple more...I like to do little things like that...lol!)

Next comes the Character Traits/Background, this also doesn't take me long. I like to have everything decided before I write, so even if at times I might change one or two things...its usually nothing major. I think character traits can be simple, you can write them as a list for each character, if you want. My high school training was more towards Film/Script-writing/Graphic Design (Not just chemistry...surprising, huh?), so for me...I generally have the visual of my character in my head. (seriously...the story...is usually in movie form...) Traits such as eye colour and hair colour, should always be decided at the beginning  it can look poorly if you mess that up while writing. (I have read a few stories where things keep switching about...) Your character's manner and personality should be sorted out before hand, and it should also be consistent. If he/she is a jerk (ahem...Matthew...lol!)...then don't make them all nice and cute moments after they've behaved badly. If you want them to be nice at some point, allow them the time to grow into it. I think it's always good to decide what your character is like, before you start. Are they easy to manipulate, mean, far too kind, sly, annoying, conniving, smart, or funny? Main point...BE CONSISTENT! Don't give readers a whiplash of emotions...it can be...quite irritating...in my opinion.

Make sure you know where your character is from, and what kind of back story they have. Early on, Mia's back story could have gone two ways, and I did at one point think I should merge the two. In the end, the back story that won out was the one you all read. Also, I like to make my main characters Canadian. You can make them from where ever you want, but I find that having them from my own country allows me to realistically present tradition, mannerisms, and culture.  If they are from another country, try watching or reading something which will help you understand the culture in that country. I love England after Canada. I've always been fascinated with the culture over there. Before going to England, I had written about 30 chapters of IOT which I thought represented the country in a decent manner. Coming home after two months, I felt that I had better insight into that world, so writing the chapter where Mia goes to see sights with the guys and Jeremy was quite a bit easier...and not like my SWFF Spain fiasco. 

I also feel that it's crucial to know the details of your character's history. How many siblings do they have? Do they come from a happy family or a conflicted one? Since it will help develop the emotions as you start writing. It also makes for interesting material to lead to your main events. An example would be Matthew sitting on the soccer ball and Leon asking about the locket. The scene pointed out the significance of the locket, while not revealing the entire secret. 

Get into the character's frame of mind before you start writing the actual story. How? Well, using the character traits, you should have a basic idea of how they are. A lot of the time, when you've decided to write, you do have an idea of what your characters are like and how they act. It's also quite common to base characters off of people you've seen, or those whom you know, and even off yourself. For example, Mia hating thunderstorms...is me in real life. Fallon and her love of cars and racing...me again. Mia's strict no drinking/drugs, etc rule...yea...you guessed it...me. It's important to have an idea of what your character likes and dislikes, in order to make the story flow smoothly. Getting in to your character's frame of mind will also help you when you work on dialogue. (Which I will come to soon...I promise!)

Having a visual of your character also helps. At the beginning of IOT, I knew Cheryl Cole was physically most similar to how I thought Mia would look, and Cristiano Ronaldo was very much similar to Matthew, at that point I was not watching TVD...I started watching it halfway through the second season and that's when it hit me, that Ian Somerhalder was probably a better visual for Matthew. (Hence the change in covers...)

So lastly - for now - giving your story a Title. In some cases, I've had a title before a story (ATWCB)...in others I've had a title after I've written for a bit and decided to change it (SWFF). For me, songs are the inspiration. At times, a certain track will be underlining an important scene in my story, and I'll just go with that. All three of my stories use songs as titles. I think the key thing about a title is that it should instantly grab your attention, make you want to read the book, and it should also be unforgettable. For IOT there were a number of songs I thought would go, but Only Tonight by JLS was the only one that really grabbed my attention, and it underlined the way I thought Matthew felt about Mia. Even if it hadn't won in the FP poll...I probably would have still used it. lol!

I know it feels like I'm jumping between things, so I apologize. I'm better at organizing my thoughts for a book, than writing my perspective on how I actually write the book. Weird, eh? Sorry about the length. I just keep finding more things to add here...anyway, tomorrow will be about POV and a few other things before I do before actually starting to write.

Hope this helps!
Much Love,

Andene xx